House of Mirrors
by Lord Thyrowing
Summary: Amy has the Doctor take her and Rory on a honeymoon. However, things quickly derail when they end up in a location the Doctor wished he'd never be again. Takes place between "The Girl Who Waited" and "The God Complex."
1. Holiday

A/N: With this first chapter, I hereby inaugurate my fanfiction career. This story takes place between "The Girl Who Waited" and "The God Complex." Any constructive criticism will be appreciated!

Edit: *headdesks* I completely forgot to thank my friend Heathe for editing this. Sorry!

**Disclaimer**: I own all of Doctor Who. If you so much as use the words "doctor" or "who" in a sentence, I will sue you.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Holiday**

"So there I was, in the middle of the Industrial Desert, surrounded by Macra, with only a mysterious locket, a slightly used pair of dentures, and a very old library card in my pockets, and only eleven minutes until the wave of molasses would swamp the village…"

The Doctor gleefully bounded around the TARDIS console, pulling and twisting a variety of random levers and knickknacks. Amy was leaning forward in an armless chair by the console, listening with enthusiasm, while Rory absentmindedly leaned back against a wall, looking at the ceiling. Five minutes passed without so much as a stop for breath by the Doctor - some kind of Time Lord-y ability, Rory was sure.

_Enough of this,_ Rory decided, edging his way toward Amy.

"Hey, don't you think it's time we asked him?"

"Hang on, this is the best part," Amy quickly whispered back.

"…and thus, the macra were defeated by their own sweet tooth, and I ended up with one GIANT stack of pancakes!"

Amy laughed and clapped her hands, causing the Doctor to do a playful bow.

"Was any of that even true?"

The Doctor gave a knowing sigh and spun around on his heels, and walked into the TARDIS kitchen while Amy gave her husband a death glare.

"Way to fuck up the fun, Buzz Killington."

Rory started to speak, but stopped as Amy stood up and walked away, pausing by a lever on the console.

_CLANG!_

Both Amy and Rory jumped at the sound of an avalanche of pots and pans tumbling down in the kitchen.

"Doctor, you need any help in there?" Amy called out, slightly concerned.

"No, no. I'm fine. Just forgot that things sometimes…fall on people's heads and…I think I understand why pans are considered blunt weapons now."

Amy looked back at Rory, who shared her bemused expression. _Are you going to ask him?_ Rory mouthed. Biting her lip, Amy slowly nodded.

"Hey, Doctor," she began, moving past the control panel and down the stairs.

"STOP WHERE YOU ARE!"

Amy froze, gripping both railings to stop herself mid-step.

"Doctor?"

"Now, I heard you two earlier, squabbling about like a young married couple…"

Amy looked back at Rory in shock.

"I think he knows!" she whispered.

"You think? Just…play cool." he whispered back.

"What do you mean, 'play cool?' You get down here and play cool!"

"I'm not gonna-"

"What? Spit it out!"

_Behind you!_ He gestured, pointing furiously.

"Wha-OH!" Amy turned back around to see the Doctor smiling on the stair below her, smiling.

"Anyway, SO! I thought it'd be nice for you two to make up with a nice, quiet…"

_Please be clueless. Please let him have not found out. Please let him not know…_

"BREAKFAST!" The Doctor produced a large, silver platter from behind his back. On it was a large stack of pancakes, slathered with thick, brown syrup. Pushing past Amy, the Doctor leapt up the steps and set the plate one of the console benches. From his pockets, he produced two forks, which he laid gingerly on either side of the bench.

"Come and get it!" He turned to the console and twisted a dial, dimming the lights. "If you two lovebirds need me, I'll be charting the trans-Antares antigravity seas with…myself. Alone. Hmm. I haven't travelled alone since…the last time…" the Doctor trailed off, looking absentmindedly into the distance.

"Er…Doctor? That's great and all, but…"

The Doctor blinked as his mind snapped back into reality. He turned to find Amy standing in front of the bench, looking at him with a worried look on his face. Rory was standing behind her, clutching her arm, as if in fear.

"But what? I know the syrup may have a poisonous, crabby aftertaste, but-"

"We-Amy'll explain," Rory finished hurriedly, pushing his wife forward.

"Hey! Oh, er…what Rory _meant_ to say was…we sort of… would like you…take us on a honeymoon."

She closed her eyes, waiting for it.

"But I already took you two on a fantastic honeymoon!"

"Look, it's not that we didn't like it," she answered, "but we just want a normal honeymoon. Like, without the evil plant people."

"Yeah, and where would you like to go? Leadworth? Sunbathe by the duck pond?"

"Hang on, let's see if I can get this right. Four two…no…OH!" She snapped her fingers. "884 Delta 74-48.504-4."

The Doctor furrowed his brow. Amy shifted uncomfortably in place under his gaze.

"Those are very specific coordinates, Pond."

"Yeah, uh-huh. Memorized them off an ad I saw in Space Florida."

"Well, I'll pop them in and see where we end up."

Turning his back on his companions, the Doctor started to fiddle with the console controls. As the TARDIS started to rattle and shake, Rory turned to his wife and smiled. Amy only half-heartedly returned it.

* * *

And so ends Chapter 1. I would have called this the prologue, but I didn't want to throw the numbering system off.


	2. Early

A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long. But it's done now! And this time, there's actual plot development!

As usual, I want to thank my editor, Heathe, for doing the editing and other various stuff.

**Disclaimer: **You have been disclaimed.

* * *

**C****hapter 2: Early**

"And now, outside these doors lies your final destination: a beautiful couple's getaway of endless excitement and sizzling romance!"

"Really?" Amy put on a pair of sunglasses and smirked at Rory, who was standing opposite her by the TARDIS door. "Hear that, Rory? Romance!"

"Yeah, Doctor, really?" Rory leaned against the wall, arms folded.

"Or it's a deathly void of eternal pain and nightmarish horrors, because I have absolutely no idea where or when we are."

Amy and Rory stared in unease at the Doctor as he unlocked the door and stepped to the side.

"Okay! Now it's time for the big question: who's first?"

The Doctor glanced at Rory, who gulped, and then at Amy, who raised her eyebrows.

"Rory, you wanna go together?"

"Hang on. Doctor, can't you check what's outside or something?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Well of course I can. But where's the fun in that?"

"Uh, it's in not being trapped in a deathly void of pain?"

"It's not a death pain void-whatever, Rory! The flier said it was a utopia."

"You can't just trust everything you read on a flier, Amy."

"STOP! Stop stop stop!" The Doctor reached out and clamped his hand over Amy and Rory's mouths. "No fighting, no arguing, good feelings. Okay?" The duo gave him a slow nod. "Okay. Good. I will go out first. If I don't come back, then you're doomed. Or I happened to stumble upon a really cool yard sale."

The Doctor opened the TARDIS door a crack, the signature _creeaaaak_ rattling around the otherwise silent room.

"Wish me luck," the Doctor said, and slipped the pair a smile before disappearing outside, closing the blue door behind him with a resounding _thud_!

A minute passed, with Amy and Rory exchanging disconcerted glances.

"So, I guess he's tagging along, then." Rory sighed and tilted his head back, aimlessly gazing at the orange walls surrounding them. "As usual."

"Would you really rather be out there without him, alone in the universe?"

"I just want to be there with you."

"And what good is being together if we're dead?" Amy replied, averting her gaze.

"BACK!" The Doctor announced, slipping inside the door. "Rory, you'll want these," he continued, throwing Rory a pair of sunglasses.

"Oooh, is it a beach? A really sunny beach? Is that why…?" Amy asked, pointing at the pair of sunglasses Rory was now fumbling around in his hands.

"Nope!" The Doctor said, smiling widely.

"But someplace really nice and sunny, right?"

"Not right now, it isn't. It's pretty dark. I think that means it's night. Wait…hang on…" The Doctor paused. "…I'm absolutely 75% sure it's night."

The Doctor stepped outside again, pulling Amy behind him. Inhaling deeply, Rory followed.

The room where the TARDIS had landed was gigantic, if what the Doctor was illuminating with his torch was any indication. A high, flat ceiling. Impeccably smooth floor. The most striking feature about it, besides its stark emptiness, was the way the torchlight reflected and refracted off the surfaces.

"I checked out the immediate area, so we should be safe," the Doctor told his companions as he started in a direction. "Breathable atmosphere, comfortable gravity, we're not dead yet, all very good signs."

"So where are we going?" Amy asked.

"It's dark. What do you do when you find yourself in a dark room?"

"Flip the light switch?" Rory ventured as they reached a wall.

"Bingo!" The Doctor reached out and lightly pushed his finger on a section of wall. Immediately, a series of lights illuminated alongside the tops of the walls, the rays of light being soaked up and dispersed by the material the room was made of.

"Well, that was easy." Rory squinted and put on his sunglasses. "Are these walls-?"

"They're some type of crystal. Hang on." The Doctor knelt down and bended over the floor. "Hard to tell what the refraction index is." Then, without hesitation, he proceeded to lick the floor.

Amy face palmed. "Why did you do that?"

"I wanted to know what the floor was made of," the Doctor answered as he picked himself up.

"And you can tell that… by licking it?"

"You know, I don't think you can. Anyway, that doesn't matter, because do you know where we are?"

"I dunno. Where?"

"A leisure palace!"

Amy brightened up and turned to Rory, who was silently observing the two while leaning against the wall. "You here that, Rory? A leisure palace! That's sounds like a pretty posh place, right, Doctor?" She looked to find him staring off into space, a concerned look on his face. "Doctor?"

"Huh? Oh, yes. The poshest," he said, shaking his head. "Leisure palaces!" He clapped his hands together, returning to his usual chipper state. "I never thought I'd come across one of these again! Come along, Ponds!" The Doctor grabbed both their hands and started to lead them toward a booth-like structure carved into a far wall.

"Doctor, where are you taking us?" Rory yanked his hand from the Doctor's grip and started to rush across the room alongside them.

"To the reception area. I'll check you both in with the psychic."

Amy bit her lip. That tone meant trouble.

"And there's no one here. Probably because it's night or whatever," Rory said as they arrived at the booth.

"Nope. Leisure palaces are open and staffed twenty-four seven. But that's not the part that worries me."

"Okay, if there's something worrying you, that means we should probably go, because it's dangerous, right?"

"Hang on, Rory. Doctor, what's wrong?"

"It's this _place._" He opened his arms, looking around the room. "There's _nothing here._ No pool, no people, and I'm pretty sure there were supposed to be complimentary peanuts upon arrival. It doesn't even seem like they finished building this part of it yet."

"Great, so you made another mistake and we're early again. Let's go back to the TARDIS and go somewhere else." Rory started to go back to the TARDIS, but the Doctor stopped him with his arm.

"But we're not early. We're right on time."

"No. No, we can't be. You said it yourself, this place isn't finished." Amy cast him a worried look.

"Your coordinates, Amy. You gave me a very specific set of coordinates."

"I did?"

"You did. Ordinary coordinates on fliers and such usually just act like a universal address, consisting of the whatever's location and time in space. Your coordinates were likely for this place's grand opening, given leisure palace marketing. Most ships just use the spatial section of the coordinates. However, the TARDIS can follow the temporal ones as well. We're exactly where we should be, exactly when we should be."

"Okay, fine. I still say we should go back." Rory lowered the Doctor's arm and stepped around him.

"Fine, let's go. There's nothing here," Amy agreed, joining her husband.

"Yet."

Amy and Rory stopped and looked back at the Doctor, who was again gazing into the distance.

"Something's wrong here. Almost like someone else is-"

_THUD_

A familiar footstep echoed around the room.

"No…can't be," the Doctor said, his eyes turning to the entrance.

_THUD_

"Amy," the Doctor began, moving towards the source of the noise, "stay back."

"Oh, I am not moving from this spot. Rory!" She grabbed his arm and pulled him in front of her. "Stay close!"

"Why? What's out there? Amy, tell me what's out there."

_THUD_

Amy gulped and clutched him tighter.

"An astronaut."


	3. The One From Before

A/N: It's done! Yay! Back to the serious business that I actually wrote! There's an OC this chapter, but don't worry. She won't be around for long. Due to...unusual circumstances, I am putting up an unedited version first, just to get it out there. Hopefully, my editor will get back to me soon with corrections, if needed.

**Disclaimer**: Yes, I own Doctor Who. This is all canon. Unfortunately, I couldn't find "canonfiction-dot-net," so I'll just post it here.

* * *

**Chapter 3: The One From Before**

"Doctor Song, I presume?" The Doctor smiled and glanced back at Amy and Rory, who were watching wide-eyed from afar.

With a slow hand the astronaut opened its visor.

"My name is Professor Stells. Who the hell are you supposed to be?"

The Doctor blinked twice in disbelief at the foreign, silver-haired woman staring at him. A few moments of silence passed until the woman spoke again.

"I knew it," she said, with a sneer, "more of Song's lot. What, you're following me on my expeditions now just to tell me off? I mean, come on. Is it really all that surprising that I would get tenure over a convicted murderer?"

The Doctor was about to speak when she gave him a queer look and tried to see around him.

"How did you even get here, anyway? I don't see-"

"Uh, allow me to explain myself. I am..." The Doctor fumbled around his pockets a bit before producing his psychic paper. "...George Jackson of the Buildings Agency. I was sent to check the integrity of this place. Not too sure about that ceiling..."

"Why? Are we in danger of it failing?"

"Yes. I mean, no. Maybe. Probably not. Anyway, nice space suit! It looks really good on you!"

The professor blushed and looked away.

"Thanks, it's a Luna University original. Only me and the members of my archaeological team get them. Top of the line. Really expensive. Not that it'd do much good against the radiation, but money can't solve everything."

"So, you're here on an expedition. Why? What happened here?"

The professor gave the Doctor a doubting look before grabbing a communicator on her belt.

"Patrick, are you there? I got a...what are you, exactly? Engineer? Whatever. I got an expert here who says we might have a problem with the ceilings."

"Well, I wouldn't call myself an expert, though I did earn several degrees in-"

"You, shut up. Patrick? Are you there?"

An odd, garbled noise emanated from the speaker.

"Patrick? Was that you?"

"Doctor, what's wrong?" Amy piped in from behind, causing the Doctor to jump.

"Amy, don't sneak up on me like that. Stells, give me the com. I think these crystal walls are scrambling the signal."

The professor obliged, watching the Doctor with a concerned look as he pulled out his screwdriver.

"Perhaps if I adjust the target frequency..." He pointed the sonic at the device and turned it on.

Immediately, the room filled with an ear-splitting buzz.

"DOCTOR! TURN IT OFF!" Amy yelled, as the floor began to quake. With great strain, the Doctor gathered his wits and turned the screwdriver off.

"Oh...oh my God...never...do that again," the Professor said between breaths. With that, she turned and started briskly walking away.

"And where do you think you're going?" The Doctor said, rubbing his ears.

"After Patrick. He's probably gotten himself into some sort of trouble. Don't you dare follow me."

"You don't know what's out there, Stells."

"Can't be worse than you," she shot back before disappearing around the corner.

The Doctor sighed and turned around to face his companions, who were looking on in confusion.

"Doctor, who was that?" Amy said, resting her chin in her hand.

"That was the person who occupied River Song's position before she became a professor."

"Wait, my uncle's a professor, and he said once he gets tenure he'll have his job for life."

Amy turned to Rory. "You're uncle's a professor? You never told me anything about that."

"You met him? At the wedding? Remember? He told you that joke you liked that you wouldn't tell me?"

"Oh, yeah!" Amy giggled and turned away from Rory, who rolled his eyes.

"That woman has River's job. That is a life position. She doesn't have it in the future. River had that same exact suit when I met her when she was a professor. And River wasn't all that much older. So, something..." The Doctor waved his hands around, beckoning the others to understand.

"Something...bad happened to her!"

"Right! Amy, you get a cookie. Maybe next time, Rory."

Rory threw his hands up in the air and started back towards the TARDIS.

"You'd better join your husband, Amy."

"Oh, no. I'm not leaving you on your own again."

"You have to. I'll be fine. If I need your assistance, I'll contact you with this." He placed his psychic paper in her hand. "Understand?" Amy nodded, biting her lip. "Good. The blue switch next to the zig-zag plotter will disable Emergency Protocol 1. If you don't hear from me in thirty minutes, call for back-up."

Before Amy could respond, the Doctor ran off, darting past the doorway and turning down the hall Stells went through.

"Just don't do anything stupid," Amy mumbled to herself as she walked back to the TARDIS.**  
**


	4. Help

A/N: I finally escaped from the literary apocalypse that is JIGGLYVONCHEESE long enough to crank out another chapter. Sorry about the wait. This chapter's pretty short, but I think that's because it's a turning point in the plot.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Amy Pond or River Song. I simply stole them from Mitt Romney's binder.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Help  
**

"...there's no information here. Nothing. Not even a Wikipedia page."

Amy glanced at Rory, who was staring intently over her shoulder at the computer monitor. After thirty minutes of scouring the TARDIS' databases for a hint of where they were even at, they had come up empty. Amy threw her hands up in surrender.

"That's it. I'm done."

"You try Googling it?"

Amy gave him a sharp glare.

"Sorry, sorry. Isn't there anything else you can do? Didn't you take a course in college-"

"Rory, just because I went to college doesn't mean I _went_ to college."

Rory sighed. "Come on. Didn't you learn anything about background checks when you were a kissogram?"

"I didn't run background checks on people! Wait a sec-" she clamped her hand over Rory's mouth before he could reply. "-we do know someone who went to college."

"Me?" came Rory's somewhat muffled reply.

"No, stupidface - River!"

Rory gave his wife a skeptical look.

"But how are we going to reach her? I don't think she has a cell."

"Just give me a minute." Amy pushed him aside and started furiously typing at the keyboard.

Rory just sighed and sat himself down on a bench, looking nervously at the door. Amy stole a couple quick glances as well, in nervous anticipation. The Doctor was already five minutes late. Two minutes usually meant trouble. Five could mean a cataclysmic disaster, judging by how things escalated on their adventures.

Ten minutes later...

"Hey! Get over here. I think I got something."

Rory looked over to see an ominous green glow emanating from the console. Amy was backing slowly away from it, and a mechanical hum started to fill the room.

"Amy...what did you do?"

"I just found a program with 'RIVER' in the name and pressed a button."

But Rory couldn't hear her over the ear-splitting crack that filled the room.

* * *

The Doctor was running. He dashed past a corner, nearly tripped over his own feet, and scrambled back upright as he ran on down a hall. The echoes of his footsteps were the only noises filling these mirrored passages, but he knew he heard something else. A voice, clear as day: "HELP!"

And so he ran, like he always does when he is called. A few minutes and several very confusing passages later, he came upon his destination. A door, inset in a wall, of intricately carved crystal. The Doctor squinted - there was a bright light source in the room on the other side, and the door bent and refracted the rays across the hall.

For a few seconds he puzzled how he was supposed to open the door, as there was no knob, but that question was answered for him as it slowly started to open inwards of its own accord.

It took a few seconds for the Doctor's eyes to adjust to the light. When he was finally able to distinguish what was in the room, he gulped and took a step back.

"No...not you..."

* * *

"What happened?" Amy peeked a look from behind her hands. "Did it stop?" She nudged Rory, who was clinging to her with fearful determination. "Rory, go see if it worked."

"Well, if it didn't work, then I've become a really adventurous sleepwalker."

Rory yelped and jumped back, sending him and Amy both to the ground. Behind them, River smiled, picked up her nightgown, and delicately walked over to the console.

"So, what sort of party have you two invited me to today?"


End file.
